Till Death Do Us Part

This supernatural crime flash made ‘The Forties Club’ over at Jason Evans’ “Clarity of Night Comp”… and is my ‘most commented on’ short story to date, gleaning 45 comments…


PC Loram didn’t register the bullet that killed him, until it pinged off the pylon bar behind. The spurts from his gaping throat made his erection instantly flaccid. The prostitute on her knees expected a shower, but not of blood. Loram hit the deck before she screamed.

Halfway up the pylon, electricity crackled above. Confused, his weightless tranquillity was broken by piercing shrieks below.

A blood-soaked woman stumbled around like a pissed-up zombie. Another woman, brandishing a handgun, smiled manically.

“Till death do us part…”

Brenda… the bitch! Panic-stricken, Loram gazed at his ‘spectral body’.

Vibrations made him pivot. A black pin-prick grew in the parting clouds. Rushing upward, darkness engulfed him. Zooming forward, a distant white dot rapidly closed in.

Bathed in a brilliant whiteness, he was soothed by profound love.

An angelic form of pulsating mini-prisms, a stunning backdrop like ocean mist, distant chimes echoing.

The ‘Being’ touched him.

Images appeared…

… Loram beating a prisoner … with each punch, Loram felt the criminal’s despair…

… A drug-dealer giving Loram an envelope… addicts injecting heroin… their hopelessness swamping his soul…

… Brenda, crying into her pillow, spilled tablets across the bed… he felt her misery…

“Enough!” Loram turned away.

“What have you learned from this?”

“…That’s life.”

“Then, you’re in the wrong place…” The ‘Being’ dispersed.

Loram swivelled, a fiery hole emerging beside him. Two white doves transformed into squawking, red-eyed crows.

Holding out a pleading hand, the abyss mercilessly sucked him in, with a growl of malevolence.


4 Responses to Till Death Do Us Part

  1. Lily Childs says:

    I love a red-eyed crow, me.

    Crime and horror combined – a perfect marriage. And all still in the inimitable Col Bury voice.

    Loved it!

  2. Col Bury says:

    Thanks a lot, Lil.
    Really enjoyed mixing things up a bit here. When I read it back, it’s like someone else has written it.
    Glad you loved it. x

  3. Sheri Hart says:

    Thanks for visiting my site. I’m glad you did — now I have more fodder for my coffee/reading breaks! This is a strong piece. I’m going exploring to see what other gems I can find.

    You’ve a gift for the super short. Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two to curb my long-windedness. 🙂

  4. Col Bury says:

    Hi Sheri,

    Thanks for your kind words. I’m hoping I have a gift for the novel too, but we’ll see about that.
    I sincerely hope your ‘wind’ issue clears up soon. 🙂 Writing and reading a lot of flash fiction has definitely tightened my general writing.

    Hope you find more ‘gems’. 🙂


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